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How not to get clutter in the first place...
From Zen Habits... via Suzy Greaves....via John Williams' scanners' site
Avoiding The Accumulation of Stuff.
Zen Habit's ideas:
- Rediscover a passion for life. Get outside and feel nature, appreciate the beauty of the world around you. Get active, do some gardening or yardwork, play a sport, go for a walk, take a hike, go for a swim, ride a bike. Feel the life coursing through you. Breathe it in.
- Give experiences as gifts, not stuff. Instead of shopping for someone come birthdays or Christmas, think of an experience you can give them instead. A date with you, doing something fun, hanging out, cooking, playing, talking, exploring. A fun time at a park or beach. Something other than everyday. An experience is much more meaningful than an object.
- Connect with others. In real life. If you haven’t hung out with a friend recently, give him a call and go hang out. Get your kid away from the TV or video game player and take her outside to do something. Go on a date with your partner. Visit your mom or grandparents. And be present while you’re with them — really listen, really be there.
- Deal with your emotions. If you have a need to buy things, to shop when you are having emotional issues, be more aware of this. Then deal with the underlying emotions, rather than using shopping as a way to forget about them. If you’re depressed, or anxious, or lonely, deal with those. Find solutions, figure out what’s causing them. Good news: experiencing life, getting active, and connecting with others all help you deal with those emotional issues.
- Disconnect your attachment to stuff. Sometimes I find myself reluctant to give something up, even if I don’t really use it. And that’s when I ask myself, “Why?” What is holding me back from getting rid of this possession? Sometimes, the item has an emotional connection, but then I realize that it’s just an object, it’s not the emotion or the actual source of the emotion. Then I’ll take a picture of the item, upload it to my computer, and get rid of the object. I feel liberated, because I’ve broken an attachment to a physical object (but saved the memory). If you are attached to an object, figure out why — it’s not healthy in the long run.
- Realize that life, not stuff, is what matters. Objects are just objects — if you lose them, if they get stolen or destroyed … it’s not a big deal. They’re just objects — not your life. Your life is the series of moments that is steaming through your consciousness right now, and how you use those moments and what you fill them with is what truly matters, not what you fill your home with. At the end of this short journey, you’ll look back and remember your experiences, the people you loved and who loved you back, the things you did and didn’t do. Not the stuff you had.
Clutter quotes
Clutter is a physical manifestation
of fear that cripples our ability to grow.
H.G. Chissell
The more you have, the more you are occupied.
The less you have, the more free you are.
Mother Teresa
Clutter to get rid of..
my clothing and shoes I never wear
broken things which need mending (but which I have an attachment to)
computer leads etc I dont need
old cameras I dont use?
friendships that don't serve me
activities and obligations that don't serve me..
imagined fears and worries
negative self-judgments
tasks and odd jobs around the house
superfluous noise and stimulation
surrounding yourself with lots of stuff, activities, people, and so on can also be a nice, convenient way to keep yourself distracted from noticing the bigger issues you may have been ignoring, or going after what you really want (because that might really be scary)!
Are you interested in a lot of different things?
Then you are a scanner. I have a few scanner friends, and they are usually working in something quite dynamic like radio-producing or docco-making, because those professions need a curious mind, a wide general knowledge and a desire to keep moving on.
See www.scannercentral.co.uk for a monthly event run by a coach who specialises in helping ideas people.
Some people have a lot of ideas but there is only so much time to devote to them. Ideas are like seedlings, and they ain't much unless you nurture them, focus on them and give them the right kind of attention. If you have too many, you need to thin them out, or none of them will grow very well.
But what if you have a problem deciding which to thin out? You need to choose. But you just can't, because you are so interested in all of them. This is the crux of my problem right now. (and for as long as I can remember! )
Hoarding and letting go
I have suffered for a long time from a serious disease and it is now horrifically acute as well as chronic. This is serious. It's affecting my whole life and it has to stop..This is a post that's hard to write since I'm not sure I even want to admit to myself how acute this problem is..
Basically, I can't stop collecting things. Particularly information. I have spent days of my life rearranging my filming systems for all the notes I have written, all the leaflets and torn out articles and pictures and pamplets that all represent something to me. I have gone out and bought more and more furniture to house these filing systems...it has cost me a lot of money. I have gone through many phases of fanatical interest in varying topics. Back in the 90's, personal development, facilitating personal development, spirituality; food, always food, and issues around food; from 2002 onwards, environment and anything to do with climate change; I must have attended literally hundreds and hundreds of meetings, talks, speeches, symposiums, all of them generating their own large pile of bumph with its scribbles and ideas and names and lightbulbs signs (my doodle-speak for an idea I want to follow up) in the margins. In the early-mid 2000's, lever-arch files full of notes on filmmaking techniques and camera instructions. Those cameras have long gone out of date, yet I still can't bear to let go of them. They represent the knowledge I consumed voraciously - but, as the next topic of interest shoved the last out of the way, these files grow dusty, neglected and unread on my specially-made shelves. And in the last couple of years, hording anything to do with Transition Towns, anything to do with gardening and flowers...and so on. The other day I threw away ( or shall I say, put on a charity pile in the corner) a set of rather pleasingly colourful elastic bands that I had had SINCE I WAS 10 years old!!!!!!! AND NEVER USED! And this situation is now replicated on my adorable new Macbook Pro; rather too many folders divided into subject matter and now spilling over into 3 or 4 external hard drives.
Sad case, I think. In my defence, everytime I re-organised everything, I did throw stuff away; but I also kept a lot - some of the notes and ideas would make their way onto my To Do list (book of To Do lists actually, which itself keeps getting reorganised, - it's been in the form of flip charts all over the walls, excel spreadsheets, fancy expensive notebooks, filofaxes, 10 different iphone or computer app, but that's another story). Of course, all this aquired knowledge - that % which has stayed inside me - is part of what makes me who I am - but I also know how much I had to let go of, involuntarily because time marches on and you can only do so much. Throwing stuff away is tremendously relief-inducing BUT it also makes me frustrated and sad as if all that embodied energy was wasted somehow.
It essentially boils down to much deeper questions about who I feel I am and which direction I want to take my life in. My huge enthusiasm and curiosity in the world need to be reigned in, harnessed and used to develop something amazing. But every time I feel that I know what, for now, that might be, the next day something else has come along to make me wobble. I know I should be more selective. But I must have a deep-seated fear of closing doors, shutting options off perhaps.
At least I am working in an industry which allows me to regularly learn about new topics, in great depth, to meet people, to travel. One month I might be talking to a scientist about how the sewers of California are run (actually not something that was on my List of Things to Learn about, but hey there you go!) or how the International Space Station evolved; the next, talking to an artist about modern art in a globalised world, the next about biochar or hydroponics... and so on. Can't complain... it's just that I feel the need to dive in now, to have my own topic on which to become an expert.
I could actually have a separate blog couldn't I, for people who have too many things they want to do. That's the kind of thing a life coach might do. I'm still looking for answers. I know what the self help books say and the life coaches, but what I mean is I'm still looking for answers within myself.
For now I'll just tell you the story of the Confused Donkey, which my pal RL told me.
Once upon a time there was a donkey, and he was surrounded by several piles of hay. He looked around at them and they were all delicious-looking, so he couldn't decide which to eat! He stood there, looking and looking, more and more frantic, trying to make up his mind...
In the end, he starved to death!
Poor donkey.
Day 8, Detox and fast on Koh Samui: BREAKING THE FAST
Jeez, can't eat till like midday as still have special flora-gro "insertion" put inside me to replenish all the good bacteria. Will NOT miss the smell of coffee I can tell you.
Weight check: 135 lbs! (lost in total, 7lbs, half a stone) (the 4lbs I put on 2 days ago must have been water, but it went the next morning)
12: 30 yuuuuuuummmmmmmyyyy papaya and mango and goat's yoghurt and bee pollen for brek. In a small bowl, but I felt stuffed!
3pm: was a bit naughty as supposed to eat only veg but spotted someone eating delicious raw vietnamese uncooked spring rolls with chilli sauce so ordered them too. Ate them in restuarant on the beach. YUMMY! Stuffed. Was only 7 mouthfuls!
8pm; another raw salad but only ate 3 mouthfuls as felt no need for food at all. (Highly unlike me!!)
UPDATE: Straight after this detox/fast, I was able to cycle across from Northern Thailand to Laos for 11 days - sometimes doing 70 miles in a day! Didn't suffer at all. Was eating normally (but Thai food is healthy generally) - and drinking a beer a night. When I got back to England, I was still the same weight I was on the last day of the fast. I think this 7lbs was the weight of the GUT GUNK that is sitting in all of our intestines.
It's now about 12 weeks later, and I am STILL the same weight - (it goes up and down a little), and I haven't been neuroticly sticking to a raw food diet in the slightest. However, I have invented loads of new salad combinations and find that I get very excited by these. You can see these on my other blog Zizzie's Tahini. (eventually!)
Day 5, Detox and fast on Koh Samui
MORNING: Time is going too fast! This morning was Day 5 of the detox and I have lost 7lbs (half a stone)! Amazing! Very happy. Except, it doesn't seem to be fat loss - stomach still seems as flobbly as norma, but never mind, I've done no exercise so that's why. After this I'm cycling from northern Thailand over to Laos for 11 days, so surely that'll shift the flobbles, (except I suppose I'll be eating normal food then!)
EVENING:
WHaaaaatt??? I weighed myself again and I've put on 4 lbs?? Bizarre, since I had 2 good colemas today. How very distressing. Oh well, typical of ME to be the only person on this detox to PUT ON weight!
Watched a film in the evening called the Ph Miracle - some sensible/interesting things to say. Then I watched something else - a guy doing a speech - (INSERT TITLE - what was it??)
Here's a programme to follow - see this post.
and this post for notes from the film Food Matters
Click here for Day 6
What should I do???
Here's what I want:
better job security (contracts of 6months or more)
decent salary of ultimately 45k or over
like-minded people- culturally aware, educated, maybe a bit bohemian
possibility of travel
to feel at the forefront of something - developing exciting projects
pension and normal benefits eg 25 days hol and flexi time, maternity leave like normal people get
environmental awareness/ change/ and sustainability at heart of job
maybe one day teaching /facilitating in the area I've learned
Hours which allow me at least some nights a week to have a life / do creative evening classes
One day be able to take the skills abroad to live elsewhere??? (with husband and children obviously)
would i like to be my own boss / run my own business ?
************************************************************************************
Here's what I'm interested in researching:
landscape architecture - what's a career in it involve, why am I attract - bigger picture of sustainable urban planning, unites architecture with nature, project based yet permananent job? out and about?
teaching as a career. What would teach and what type school? How would I survive financially while studying? What would I earn? What would life be life? How dynamic?
programme/development managing for sustainable trusts / ngos - eg Ashden Awards.
be an eco-property developer
make a radio programme about teenage bereavement (but ultimately I dont think radio will provide the answers as presumably same problems as tv. (unless I get a lifelong job in BBC, unlikely)
If I stay in TV production:
I don't feel I have the confidence or motivation to be a director. I feel too old. It's a young person's industry. I imagine myself with children and this career cannot be done with children in my opinion. I have seen the way women over 40 are treated. I need to be a biggish/medium fish in a smaller pond. I would always be at the beck and call of others, not being able to plan out my year (holidays etc) in advance. I'd be an underling, working till god knows what time of night - (and if I didnt, i wouldnt be employed at all) never earning any more than a crappy weekly rate, with no incentive to earn more money as the bigwigs are making it all off MY back. It is well acknowledged that the industry is flooded with young people willing to undercut. That conditions are bad. that if you want to make money you have to start your own production company, build it up then sell it. I am not likely to do that. I know I'm a jack of all trades, perhaps master of none, but I feel very claustrophic if I feel trapped. Why do I feel trapped? Is it really trapped, or is it scared becuase it's difficult? Do i just think I should escape because something else might be easier, because this is how i respond to obstacles? Maybe partially, but also partially I realise i don't LOVE tv, in fact I prefer Radio as a medium nowadays to explore subjects in enough depth.
Here's what (I think) I want to do: (personal projects) (NOT in order of want)
research and record my mum's friends in audio interviews
research female teenage bereavement and get in touch with contributors - construct a story which weaves in my own experiences
research Zizzie's roots too
research design and write a cookery book on street foods of the world
plan permaculture gardens for the community to run, set up a website for it..
re-learn Spanish OR Italian
more art and self-expression - silver clay jewellery making, art foundation, painting and sculpture
write for my BLOG. Family tree and memorials, House refurbs before and after, reviews on vintage shops, green roofs and environmental stuff
transition town projects: green roof night ?
Developing iphone apps : want to do proper augmented reality guidebooks for journeys/ cities based on themes. Educational, entertaining, green, etc
Green cities guide : either as iphone app or podcast - how to make money, get funding develop / research it.
Edit THE green movement encyclopedia: documenting the green movement of the 20th and 21st century, a Who's Who of significant books, people, and organisations, along with timeline of events and essays on various topics eg history locating changes attitudes to our environment within the context of the history of humanity!. Also a further section
design and make my garden design kit and poster for garden designers (actually maybe not feeling this today)
Further things taking my attention:
Green party asking me to be a local counsellor
Transition town website and running the groups
Here's what I'm good at / transferable skills:
doing up houses, property investment
creative and arty,
good head for web design and phtography
people person - charm, persuasion etc
organising and project management (although no formal project management skills)
lateral thinking
good knowledge of history and art and culture and travel
Green movement knowledge and connections
archive producer knowledge
having ideas (but not necessarily following through) including entrepreneurial
cooking and food
art teacher? facilitating art? art therapy?
Practical things to do :
get a life coach
build my personal website (stalling because not sure what I want it to say professionally)
paint kitchen units (And get rid of old)
paint tv chest and change knobs
get dining room table (no money at the mo)
finish garden planting and revise for next year
transition town green roof event?
If I won the lottery:
Buy and do up ec0 house - britain or italy. (or both) - want to understand the process and then somehow devise a way to make easier for others or become an eco-property developer.
Start a teenage bereavement charity (actually there is one - investigate)
Start a charity for Rome's gypsy children
(Get VERY fit and healthy and have a personal trainer every day)
devote more time to community activities - green awareness stuff eg permaculture gardens.
set up a really funky community centre in an architecturally amazing building, with organic cafe, trestle tables, library, allotment/ growing lessons, yoga, etc.
learn an instrument
sing more
language and art classes daily!
Do an art foundation / degree
a professional cookery course - eg Pru Leith's
Leukaemia
What's leukaemia and why did my mother get it?
The word Leukemia comes from the Greek leukos which means "white" and aima which means "blood". It is cancer of the blood or bone marrow (which produces blood cells). A person who has leukemia suffers from an abnormal production of blood cells, generally leukocytes (white blood cells).
The DNA of immature blood cells, mainly white cells, becomes damaged in some way. This abnormality causes the blood cells to grow and divide chaotically. Normal blood cells die after a while and are replaced by new cells which are produced in the bone marrow. The abnormal blood cells do not die so easily, and accumulate, occupying more and more space. As more and more space is occupied by these faulty blood cells there is less and less space for the normal cells - and the sufferer becomes ill. Quite simply, the bad cells crowd out the good cells in the blood.
So why does this happen? Why did my mother get it?
Acute lymphoblastic leukaemia is the only form of leukaemia that is commonest in childhood (under 15 years of age). Adult ALL is most common between the ages of 15 to 25 and in those over 75 years. ALL is slightly more common in males than in females at all ages.
SO.... either children under 25 or in old people, mostly male, over 75.
So why did a 44 year old otherwise healthy female get it?
The cause(s) of ALL are unknown in most instances. The only clearly identified risk factor for adults is exposure to very high radiation levels such as those seen after the atom bomb explosions in Japan in 1945. Very few people in the Western world are exposed to levels of radiation high enough to increase the risk of leukaemia. No other chemical or physical exposure has been clearly shown to increase the risk of adult ALL.
Radiation? The only clearly unidentified factor for adults? Was my mother near any radiation? We did live in the capitals of China and Malaysia for the 10 years before her death...but I'm not sure she was exposed to very high radiation levels there.
She wove in platelet colours of yellows and reds,
knitting love and hope into rugs and hangings
Picking lichen from trees,
Collecting colours of the Earth
Dyeing the wool in pans.
Her friend brought some red (skimpy) knickers.
(I don't know if she ever wore them)
Encouraging the little red platelets to grow strong
The jolly red mantra to get Mama better.
SYMPTOMS:
Anaemia (lack of red blood cells). This causes fatigue, breathlessness, and a low platelet count, which causes bruising, bleeding of mucus membranes and the gut, and low normal blood cells causing fever and persistant infections. Signs? Fatigue, night sweats, weight loss, itching, breathlessness, bruising, recurrent infections, bone pain, enlarged lymph glands persisting for six weeks...
And all before you've started taking all the chemotherapy drugs. And before your body has really begun to break down.

